Essential Rewards

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How I Stopped Keeping Up with the You Know Whos

Today I was talking to my sister-in-law about life and how women can sometimes be really freaking awful to ourselves. I started to share with her / admit something to her that I think is also important to share with you (whoever is reading this).

For years I was envious of a friend of mine. I wanted what she had … her hair, her clothes, beauty products, the way she had it all together, etc.One day, something happened. Maybe I opened my eyes wider maybe I just became aware of reality. Her husband started to share more on social media.  He shares photos of the same home, the same kid, the same woman I have been in complete awe of for years. Suddenly, they all looked so different to me.

Her versions are perfection. Flawless/ Seamless. Every frame looks like a page from Crate and Barrel. Even when the kids are a mess they look like an advertisement.

His. One day a photo stood out to me more than the rest.  His photo looked real life.  The kid in the photo had mismatched clothes on (like most kids that are determined to dress themselves) his child had boogers on their face and the biggest smile. This photo made me get lost in the Rabbit Hole … I began to scroll back through other photos and noticed that the perfect woman was there with the same leggings I had on with messy hair & an exhausted look on her smiling face.  The home I used to envy looked like a mess in the background and I notice that she too let laundry sit in baskets.  I pretended they had also been there for 6+ days.

Now I know that His photos were not an intentional complete raw/real opposite of hers.  It is just obvious to me that he just does not care about hiding the basket of unfolded underwear & mismatched socks.  He doesn’t think to wipe the snot & dried snacks from the bottom lip before capturing the moments he is in.  He is truly IN the moments he captures.  This life that I am slightly ashamed that I have been chasing – the one that she has been portraying is not real life. Not all of it at least.

I still admire this woman, I still think she is magical and I love so much what she stands for and how she does life BUT I am also really ashamed that I lost focus of my perfect storm.  I’d take this mess over anyone else’s in a heartbeat. So here is to keeping it real, messy floors, un-done dishes and homes that are decorated with toys & memories like mine.